You might relate with King Sisyphus in this instance - have you ever felt so close to accomplishing a goal you set yourself out to achieve, only to find yourself at square one, feeling defeated and much like you wasted much of your time?

These are one of the instances in which we need to reevaluate where we are in life, take a break, and reassess our priorities. You don't have to live your life, looking at your life's work as Sisyphean. There are, after all, other hills to fight other battles on. The key is to find the right hill for you, and you may even enjoy the climb you make on that hill. It's not that you might find a hill specifically designed for you - after all, nothing in life comes to you on a silver platter. The hill you find might be difficult, but what makes it "right" for you is if, at the top of the hill, you meet your goal. 

Do you need a break?

In the book, Pause, by Rachael O-Meara, five common signs are laid out to help you determine whether you might need to take a break.

1. Hating your job (or path that you're on as of right now)
2. Poor Performance
3. Discontent
4. Overusing Technology
5. Big life changes are demanding your time and attention

When you begin to feel unsatisfied with how you are living your life, and the path you set yourself up to be on, then you might need a break to reevaluate what you truly want out of this experience we all call life. First and foremost, before we continue talking about "pausing" in life, what does it mean to pause?

"Pause": a moment of reflection during which you give yourself the time and space to get back in tune with your intuition

Planning the Pause

Pausing in life doesn't mean ignoring your priorities, or spending your free time doing things willy-nilly. It doesn't mean that when you have free time, you may sleep till noon, play games on your phone till 2 am, and go on an endless internet session when you're bored. A pause is not something to do when bored. It definitely has a purpose to your life and to your future.

To begin, you must acknowledge that you need a pause. In reality, this is what you should be doing in every situation - admit that there is a conflict, a problem, a challenge, etc. Then, you can put a face to the situation, and solve it with the right solution. A correct diagnosis leads to the correct prescription.

Start planning your pause by understanding your yearnings, or your deepest desires. You can do this by taking the "so that" test. First, think of something you want. Second, ask yourself why you want it by adding "so that" to your answer. I'll do a quick example. I want to travel. Why? So that I can gain new experiences. Why? So that I become open-minded. Why? So that I can connect with more people. Why? So that I can establish a community around me, which will offer stability in my life.

Continue asking yourself: Why do you want this? So that... Why does that matter? So that...

There are both universal and personal yearnings - everyone has the yearning to connect with people - regardless of your personality type (introvert or extrovert). Everyone wants to connect with somebody. Everyone wants to feel alive. Everyone wants to be loved, affirmed, and acknowledged.

Once you now your yearnings, you can design your pause to fulfill them. You can begin by brainstorming what your pause may look like, and start thinking about your intentions with this pause - what do you want to achieve? It's OK if your brainstorm and answers to any of these questions are vague - your pause isn't supposed to be a to-do list or a list of chores, it's for you to accomplish something you find meaningful.

When planning your pause, make sure you take into account three things: time, money, and activity. How long do you have for your pause, will money be an issue, and which activities can you plan based on your available resources? Make sure you take stock of your resources before settling on a final pause plan.

Get the most out of your pause by freeing yourself from limiting beliefs that give you a false paradigm about yourself and others. I'm sure that you have experienced something that made you doubt your abilities, whether it be something a significant other told you that discouraged you or something you began telling yourself. Something important to understand is that these fables you tell yourself - that you aren't good enough or that you're replaceable, that somebody is out to get you or someone is pretty/handsome, and therefore a jerk - are rarely, if ever, true.

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you see the whole world.

George Bernard Shaw English Playwright

In the book, 7 Habits for Highly Effective Teens, it's said that paradigms are like glasses, and I couldn't agree more. A couple of years ago, when I placed my glasses on the rim of my nose for the first time, I could see an entirely new world around me. I was never able to see the trees in the mountains as I drove past them, but now, I can see the outline of each and every tree, and see the distinction between the morning fog, the rising sun, and the snowy mountain peaks in the background of the road signs I could now see so much more clearly. I never knew how good my life could have been if only I went to the eye doctor earlier.

In the same way, we make these perceptions about people, but in reality, these views are blurred and false. The moment we start generalizing about people is the moment that we don't treat them as individuals. Past bad experiences shouldn't and don't determine future bad experiences, and the same goes for good experiences. We can't fit people into different categories we created in our minds, no matter how convenient that may be for us.

Stay away from these toxic thoughts, and replace them with nourishing and replenishing thoughts. It will be a habit that will take a while to practice. Limiting beliefs are deep-seated, and it takes time and effort to change an attitude and way of thinking. Be sure to nurture positive changes to make your pause more meaningful.

If you think you may have a tough time in holding yourself accountable, it is seriously valid to set three to five ground rules for yourself, such as making your bed in the morning or limiting the time you spend on your phone for the day.

Don't just make an effort to get rid of bad habits, try to adopt healthy ones instead!

Make sure to put your pause into a long-term perspective: What do you hope to accomplish during your pause, and what sort of change are you anticipating in your post-pause life? What changes would you like to make in your life after the pause? 

Reflect Your Pause

The final step (and realize that this has been long and winded): reflect. This will make your new and nourishing habits stick better when you acknowledge them and the success you had with them. Reflect on what you've learned about yourself. Here are some reflection questions to get you started if you would like, outlined by O'Meara:

• What did you learn from the pause?
• Did you learn more about your yearnings?
• Do you still want to continue on the path you're on?
• What will and what won't you tolerate?

You can make your insights more actionable by asking how a certain activity you accomplished in your pause assisted you in accomplishing your bigger goal in mind. For example, I took a 2-mile run during one of my min-pauses. How will what I've learned by doing X (running for 2 miles) assist me in doing Y (practicing health, self-care, and self-love)?

Reevaluate the path you are on in life, and you'll not only feel reinvigorated, but you'll also be ready to live a more authentic life. Be honest with where you are, where you want to be, and what you can do to get there.

Call To Action

Start small, and take a mini-pause today. If you need to set some ground rules for yourself, do so. If you need to make a list, do so. If you simply want to take 5 minutes and sip on a cup of tea while taking some deep breaths, do so. A pause isn't a job, it's a choice to do something meaningful for yourself. It's flexible and should reflect your goals and actions. You have the power to choose which hill you climb, and which goals you achieve.